8-22-21 Ephesians 5

 Many go away sad in the Gospel today. And in our world today, we are still seeing this happening. Many go away sad for various reasons, some very understandable even if not objectionable.

There is a battle going on in our world about what it means to be a woman, and what it means to be a man. The first is more explicit, as we have for decades dealt with it at the forefront of a cultural rift over the silent holocaust that has swept through our communities since Roe v. Wade and Doe v. Bolton. The battle for what it means to be a man is not so explicit in our culture, but is in the ever-present undertones and whispers of how men are portrayed in film and television and novels, and in what we see as expectations or assumptions for how men are going to live in this day and age. Much of this is not very exalted or uplifting, but before we can see the response the church offers to these world-views, we must outline briefly the women’s movement.

Feminism – had something right in it, but also got muddled with lots of evil stuff. Book: Subverted by Sue Ellen Browder describes her story as summarized in the subtitle, “How I helped the Sexual Revolution Hijack the Women’s Movement” (I meaning her, not Fr. Terry - I wasn’t around to do so at the time).

They saw something right: that men and women have equal dignity and it isn’t being lived out well in the social norms of the day, especially voting, workplace, and civic life. But they also eventually lost the other side of the truth, that men and women are not the same but are rather distinct, different, and complementary. Equal in dignity, but not the same, not identical, rather complementary.

Ephesians 5 – Saint Paul lays out a beautiful exposition of the relationship between husbands and wives. Mind you, he is not talking about how men treat women in public life, but rather within the context of marriage, although it has consequences for all human interaction. And St. Paul ties this sacrament to the most common theme in the bible and the most important mystery of our existence: that God wishes to “marry” us; that he “espouses” Himself to us as His bride in Christ Jesus the bridegroom.

In his masterpiece letter to women titled Mulieris Dignitatem, (“on the dignity of women”) Pope John Paul II describes well how husbands and wives are called to live this mystery…:

as real women and men. It [St. Paul’s letter] reminds them of the "ethos" of spousal love which goes back to the divine institution of marriage from the "beginning". Corresponding to the truth of this institution is the exhortation: "Husbands, love your wives", love them because of that special and unique bond whereby in marriage a man and a woman become "one flesh" (Gen 2:24; Eph 5:31). In this love there is a fundamental affirmation of the woman as a person. This affirmation makes it possible for the female personality to develop fully and be enriched. This is precisely the way Christ acts as the bridegroom of the Church; he desires that she be "in splendour, without spot or wrinkle" (Eph 5:27). One can say that this fully captures the whole "style" of Christ in dealing with women. Husbands should make their own the elements of this style in regard to their wives; analogously, all men should do the same in regard to women in every situation. In this way both men and women bring about "the sincere gift of self".

The author of the Letter to the Ephesians sees no contradiction between an exhortation formulated in this way and the words: "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife" (5:22-23). The author knows that this way of speaking, so profoundly rooted in the customs and religious tradition of the time, is to be understood and carried out in a new way: as a "mutual subjection out of reverence for Christ" (cf. Eph 5:21). This is especially true because the husband is called the "head" of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church; he is so in order to give "himself up for her" (Eph 5:25), and giving himself up for her means giving up even his own life. However, whereas in the relationship between Christ and the Church the subjection is only on the part of the Church, in the relationship between husband and wife the "subjection" is not one-sided but mutual.

That is the dignity that women deserve, that the movement of the 70s and beyond was seeking to bring about, albeit with mistaken conclusions or methods.

Then John Paul II transitions in his letter immediately to the Eucharist, the mystery we hear Jesus speak about so firmly in the Gospel today as we once again hear from John 6.

The "sincere gift" contained in the Sacrifice of the Cross gives definitive prominence to the spousal meaning of God's love. As the Redeemer of the world, Christ is the Bridegroom of the Church. The Eucharist is the Sacrament of our Redemption. It is the Sacrament of the Bridegroom and of the Bride. The Eucharist makes present and realizes anew in a sacramental manner the redemptive act of Christ, who "creates" the Church, his body. Christ is united with this "body" as the bridegroom with the bride. All this is contained in the Letter to the Ephesians. The perennial "unity of the two" that exists between man and woman from the very "beginning" is introduced into this "great mystery" of Christ and of the Church.

Because, as St. JPII described, the Eucharist and marriage are deeply interconnected, we are trying this fall to emphasize the importance of the Eucharist through a couple initiatives. There’s an adult bible study on the Mass. And we are also hoping to have an exhibit on Eucharistic miracles and even perhaps a speaker on the same topic. When we lessen the dignity of the Eucharist and what it means, we also lessen the dignity of the marriage. And vice-versa, if we denigrate marriage, the mystery of the Eucharist loses its power. “If human love, even in its purest and most exalted form, is so broken and imperfect, then how can God’s love for me truly last?”

Mutual submission brothers and sisters, in full respect for the dignity of women and men as created equal but different – that lived reality is the witness the world needs to see if the battle for the meaning of the human person is going to be won. Truth and goodness have a power that is greater than any crafty lies or abuses of power could ever muster. But if we don’t live it, many will go away sad. Let us ask, in this year of St. Joseph, for His intercession on all husbands to live well their marriage promises. And for Blessed Mary to remind women of their true dignity as daughters of God. So that we may be Holy Families that are shelters for Christ Jesus to dwell anew.