The Catholic church
has something to say about every aspect of human living and human freedom,
because it has the whole truth about the human person. And today’s topic of
marriage is hugely important. Marriage is the foundation of family. Family is
the foundation of society. So marriage is the core of society, and as goes
marriage, so goes society.
If you misunderstand what the human
person is about, you are going to come to the wrong conclusions. Karl Marx
thought it was all about class struggle and one group keeping another group
down and out, ultimately leading to misunderstandings about many things, even
directly attacking the institutions of marriage and family because they
overvalue the importance of the collective. DesCartes popularized the perennial
lie about the person being the soul trapped in a body and not associated with
it, leading to many mistakes about what we can or should be doing with or to
our bodies.
If you get the
human person wrong, you will get his destiny wrong. If you have the destiny or
goal wrong, you will spend your life headed in the wrong direction. This leads
to misery, chaos, and dysfunction both now and in the future. If you are on the
right road with the truth of the human person guiding you, you will find joy
and peace and harmony. The human person, from Adam and Eve until now, is created
out of love and for love by God who is love, yet also fallen, prone to
selfishness, and fragile. The story of the Gospel and the truths God reveals in
Christ allow us to know ourselves and our destiny truly and completely.
So the Church
teaches many things about the person, our sexuality, and marriage, that are so
essential because they flow from the truth of the human person, and thus when
they are put into practice they lead to human flourishing. Some of these truths
may not be popular, but truth has never been a matter of majority opinion. Truth
is about what conforms to reality. The eye, working properly, receives the
light from outside itself and makes a true image of what is beyond it. So too
does the mind conform to the truth.
This is precisely
what happens in the Gospel today when the Lord Jesus, against the culture of his
time, teaches about the truth of the indissolubility of marriage. This teaching,
continued in the Church to this day, is once again a point of discord with
society. G.K. Chesterton said “We do not
really want a religion that is right where we are right. What we want is a
religion that is right where we are wrong.” Our blind spots are the most
dangerous things for us when we are driving, and going through life with all it’s
danger and constant choices is a lot like driving, so it would be good to know
where those blind spots are. The pains of divorce which our society tries both
to deny and to mitigate, are evident especially in those who are younger, and
this tragic reality only makes clearer the truth of Christ’s words.
What is great
about Church teaching is it knows where to be firm and where to allow for
personal choice or preference. It is clear and precise when it should be, such
as when Jesus makes it clear what God’s plan for marriage is; and has leeway
and openness at other times, not over-reaching those divine rules, such as the
Church supporting the separation of couples that cannot live in healthy ways
for their good (or that of their children), and also the annulment process
which can establish whether a marriage presumed valid was in fact not so due to
missing an essential element at the outset in the ceremony and exchange of
vows.
But Jesus does not
want his disciples to focus purely on this negation of divorce. He wishes to
turn their hearts to the truth that is much deeper: the kingdom of God. “Amen,
I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not
enter it." Sometimes Jesus’ teachings do not fit with our moods, our way
of thinking, or our culture. Chesterton says further: One word that tells us
what we do not know outweighs a thousand words that tell us what we do know.
And the thing is all the more striking if we not only did not know it but could
not believe it. It may seem a paradox to say that the truth teaches us more by
the words we reject than by the words we receive. So when we naturally want
to reject what the Lord is teaching us, it behooves us all the more to receive
it like a child. A child trusts their parents even when they don’t understand,
when they don’t see the point, when it appears purely arbitrary or domineering.
At those moments they must not fear the lie that their parents want to dominate
them and make them suffer; they must trust that their parents love them and want
what’s best for them. This is indeed what it means for us to accept the kingdom
of God like a child. And as often with children, so too with us: in time, after
we do it, the things begin to make sense as they lead to our flourishing.
Whether you are
married or not, don’t be afraid of following God’s ways when His will is clear,
even and especially when it is hard.
